Day 13

Written by Ps. Craig Maher

Making Conversation Easy

Read

Philippians 2:1-4

James 1:19

Reflect

Opening our hearts and our homes requires us to have an "others" focus, and a key to this is communication. It is true that some people find communication easier than others, but each of us can improve and grow in the art of communication.  

The Apostle James put it this way, "My dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart: Be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry." (James 1:19 TPT) When you take something to heart, it becomes part of who you are, how you function and go about life. Someone once said, "First comes the caring and then comes the sharing." Your first conversation earns you the right to the next conversation. Keep this top of mind.

A key to making conversation easy is active listening. Active listening is the process by which an individual secures information from another individual or group. It involves paying attention to the conversation, not interrupting, and taking the time to understand what the speaker is discussing. 

The "active" element involves taking steps to draw out details that might not otherwise be shared. It's not so much about thinking what is the next question I am going to ask, or just waiting for the chance to talk about yourself, as it is about showing genuine interest in the other.  

We do this by simple and easy things to learn like: paying attention, withholding judgment, reflecting back what the other is saying, clarifying things that are not understood, asking open questions, and giving a summary back of what we think we heard them say. In these ways, we demonstrate we are interested in others and are seeking to understand their story. We need to do this before we can expect others to listen to us!  

The Apostle Paul encourages us, "in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:3b-4 NIV) Looking out for "the interests of the others" sounds a lot like empathy. Empathy is the heart and soul of good listening. To experience empathy, you have to try to put yourself in the other person's place and allow yourself to feel what it might be like to be him/her at that moment. It takes energy and concentration. But it is a generous and helpful thing to do, and it facilitates communication like nothing else does.

Active listening and showing genuine empathy are two ways that help make conversation easier and are wonderful ways to show kindness, respect and love.

Respond

Recall a time when you felt really listened to, what did the listener do to show you their genuine interest?

Make it your aim today to deliberately, actively, listen and have empathy in your conversations.