Wild LifeSample

Go There with Love

Like John told us on the trail, there are two things we need to know about women. First, their question, which is something like, “Will I be loved?” Like a man, her question motivates nearly everything a woman does. Second, her wound, which at some point in her life sent her the message, “You are not loved. You were not chosen. You are not worth it.”

Now, apply this new perspective to your relationships with women. Does this help you understand the messes you get into? Think about it. What are the conversations you avoid with women? If you’re married, it might be in-laws, sex, parenting style, money. They bring uncertainty to her question. If you’re unmarried, it might be gender-roles, image, or defining a new relationship. 

Is this some kind of insider, secret map for where not to go? Absolutely not. We are image bearers of God, and He’s not a coward. He’s a warrior. In his book, The Heroic Path, John Sowers writes, “Men are like pickup trucks—we do best when we have weight in the truck bed.” This isn’t just macho mumbo jumbo. Jesus called it laying down your life for your friends. The Apostle Paul called it loving like Christ gave Himself up for the Church. We were made to go there on behalf of love. 

But we can’t go to women with strength until we learn to get it from God first. She can only carry us so long before our unanswered question wrongly answers hers. We go looking for quick sex and she feels unloved. We retreat and she feels abandoned. We don’t deal with something and she feels unsafe. We go looking somewhere else and she feels abandoned. So instead, we go to God for strength so we can come to her with courageous love. Do you have this in order? What do you need to do to make it right?

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