What Kind of Friend Are You?

Yesterday, we ended our devotional with an important question: Who is your friend? Are you a friend of God, or a friend of the world? Today, Scripture invites us to lean in even closer and ask a second, equally revealing question: What kind of friend are you? Think about that for a moment and be totally honest with yourself:

·Are you a loyal friend?

·Are you a consistent friend?

·Are you trustworthy?

·Are you willing to be vulnerable?

·Are you a friend who refines others?

If the people closest to you were asked to describe you, what would they say? Would they agree with your self-evaluation?

The Bible paints a vivid picture of what true friendship looks like through many stories and examples, but one of the most striking is the bond between David and Jonathan. In 1 Samuel 18, their friendship is described as a deep, covenant-like connection, marked by philia love; selflessness, loyalty, and trust. Jonathan was willing to risk, and even lose, his life for David, and he proved that level of devotion more than once.

But the greatest example of friendship in Scripture goes beyond David and Jonathan. It is found in Jesus Himself. In John 15:13, Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Jesus didn’t simply speak about friendship. He embodied it. He called His disciples friends. He shared His heart with them. And ultimately, He laid down His life for them. Jesus’s friendship was not, and is not, casual or convenient; it is covenantal. He invites each of us into a similar relationship built on trust and shared purpose. And this divine friendship calls us to respond, not only with love and obedience toward Him, but by extending that same sacrificial friendship to others.

The most difficult part of this type of friendship is vulnerability. C.S. Lewis describes this problem in his book, The Four Loves.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

So ask yourself again: What kind of friend are you? Are you vulnerable? Are you willing to open yourself up to a deeper level of commitment, even if it means you could be hurt in the process? Are your friendships built on commitment or convenience? Are you just passing time, just hanging out, going along with whatever feels good? Do your friendships pull you closer to Christ, or away from Him? Do you lead others closer to Christ, or do you pull them further away? Are you “iron sharpening iron?” Are you the kind of friend who strengthens, encourages, challenges, and loves in a way Christ modeled?

Our prayer for you is that the Holy Spirit would shape you daily into the kind of friend who reflects how Jesus is a friend to us.