Freedom Through Forgivenessنموونە

Where Do I Forgive? – The Heart

"So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." - Matthew 18:35 ESV emphasis added

The Heart

Forgiveness is something that must be done from the heart. You must be committed to it, because if you are not, you will allow your feelings to dominate. And until you forgive, your feelings will side with the pain of what happened, so you will be stuck where you are. So, when you forgive, it must come from the heart. However, it is FIRST a decision that you make that leads to a change in your heart.

Pain May Still Exist

I know I have said it repeatedly throughout this devotional, but it’s a principle that must be understood.

You can forgive from your heart, while feeling the pain that you feel.

You can still make the decision to forgive someone who hurt you while feeling the pain.

The effects of the betrayal and hurt won’t always automatically go away the instant that you forgive them. If you have been holding onto unforgiveness for a long time, you’ll likely feel a "weight off your shoulders" when you finally let it go, but there is still healing to be done from the wound that was created.

Don’t allow the fact that you are still experiencing pain to determine if you should forgive. Don’t allow it to decide whether you did or not. If you let it go, you did.

When you forgive, you are starting the healing process to overcome the pain that was caused.

I have learned to forgive and receive forgiveness. A great deal of healing is still required in my mind, heart, and emotions. Looking at yourself and being honest with yourself is not always the easiest thing to do, but it is necessary. However, with God’s help, you can overcome it.

Forgiveness Begins in the Mind, But It Must Go to the Heart

Our hearts will follow whatever we decide to focus on. The Bible says a lot about what to think about and what to focus on. Many people know about the verse that says to "guard your heart," but let’s look at what the verses before and after that verse say:

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you.
Ponder the path of your feet,
And let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left;
Remove your foot from evil.

- Proverbs 4:23–27 ESV emphasis added.

Look at what King Solomon says to do before verse 23:

1. Give attention to my words – FOCUS

2. Do not let them depart – KEEPING YOUR FOCUS

Look at what King Solomon says to do after verse 23:

1. Put far away from you a deceitful mouth – NOT FOCUSING ON THE WRONG THING

2. Let your eyes look straight ahead – FOCUS ON THE RIGHT THING

3. Ponder the path of your feet – FOCUS

4. Do not turn to the right or left – KEEPING YOUR FOCUS

We can clearly see that guarding your heart has more to do with focus than anything else. So, if you want to forgive from the heart, you need to focus on the topic of forgiveness, not the incident or the pain associated with it.

When you do, you will forgive from the heart.