Unlocking Forgiveness

Replacing Hostility and Bitterness with Mercy and Compassion

John Stott quotes the administrator of the largest psychiatric hospital in London, who said, “If the people here only knew what it means to forgive, I could dismiss half of them at once.” In the same way, when a news reporter asked Billy Graham, “What do you see as the biggest obstacle in people’s lives,” Reverend Graham responded, “Unforgiveness. I believe that 75 percent of patients in hospitals would be made whole if they would forgive.”

Pain in life is inevitable. It is also crushing and devastating. I’ve been on the highest mountaintops and in the lowest valleys throughout my nearly fifty years on planet Earth.

My mentor always said, “Every man or woman has a father wound and a church wound.” I have both. I’ve been deeply hurt, wounded, neglected, and abused by my earthly father. I’ve also been deeply hurt, wounded, betrayed, and lied about as an adult. If that were not enough, I also suffered the trauma of sexual abuse at a daycare when I was just a young child.

Through it all, God has been close and faithful. He led me on a journey to forgive those who hurt me, which is my prayer for you as well. I have found that those who get better instead of bitter are often very kind people. On the other hand, those who are still angry, hurt, bitter, and refuse to forgive others, are not very kind people. They have anger always underneath the surface that sabotages their relationship and causes them to be mean toward other people made in the image of God.

When we sin, we offend a holy God. Through Jesus and His finished work on the cross, we can receive forgiveness. God showed me that just as He has forgiven me, I can and should forgive others. It's not easy, but with prayer, Scripture, therapy, and what God can do through community, we can receive freedom and healing and release the pain to our loving Heavenly Father.

Pray and ask God to show you who you need to forgive and to give you the strength you need to forgive, heal, and move forward.